Life has a bow wave
24 Aug 2011
There is a kind of truism about the doctor who won’t see a doctor, a hairdresser who can’t get a haircut and accountants who don’t do their tax. Some of it is professional fatigue. After seeing sick people all day, or cutting hair or doing tax, why on earth would you want to do MORE of it? To me, it is also a professional snobbery. If you are good at your profession, it is hard to find someone else who meets your own professional standard.
What about a more esoteric example. What about a philosopher who is struggling to come to grips with time? Someone who has spent a long time thinking about the central questions of philosophy and who has read a large number of books on the subject by other preeminent philosophers? What about her?
Sometimes the closer you are the heart of a matter, the harder it is to come to grips with the practicality. Even with years of study and thinking about how to think, let alone thinking about what to think about, I still find myself battling with time. It is a battle that has never impacted on me more than it does right now. At this moment in time, at this point in my life, what is become the most important to me is making the most of time. Living well.
Most of the battle is fought on the grounds of ‘stuff’. The crap, the day to day administration, the shopping, the washing, the cleaning, the notes, the preparations, the bill paying. It takes time. It saps energy like nothing else. Even if it is a well oil machine you are using to fight the stuff, it still takes time.
My constant thought is, what if I can get it all organised so I can get ahead? How do I plan and do more efficiently, better to get to the point where the stuff is behind me and I am ahead?
I talked about this with my beloved. He looked at me, and put on a very serious face. You are a philosopher, he said, you must know you can’t get ahead of the stuff. It’s time you are trying to get ahead of. We talked about it for a long time. Here are his thoughts about time and ‘the stuff”.
Here is the non-philosopher on time
The tasks can never be finished, because they are embedded in everything. The task is everything, and everything is the task.
The progress of time creates a bow wave in front of it. The bow wave is constructed of the tasks, and administration and administrivia and the crap and all the things that go into making up life. The faster you go through life, the bigger the bow wave is and the harder it is to push. The only way you can stop it, is for time to stop. At which point, the bow wave goes away, but you are dead, because you’ve stopped.
He said it over and over. It has stopped, but you are dead! This is finally sinking in. I will never get ahead of the crap.
Now, of course, I know this. It’s impossible. Even when you live alone, you still make work for yourself. You still have to clean up, pay things, organise and arrange all manner of boring, time consuming stuff. Being competent at organsing and planning helps. It only helps it take less time, it does not make it easier. Or make the crap go away.
The faster you go, he said, the bigger the bow wave.
Finally, after years of struggle, I am learning to accept that I cannot beat the bow wave. I cannot start at one end of the to-do list, finish at the end and win, all in one day. There is no winning here. What I can do, that I haven’t been, is prioritise more ruthlessly. When it doesn’t count, when the task is boring, routine, requires little concentration, do it when I am already spent, already tired. When I have the precious moments of freshness of mind, of free time, don’t do the low level task, do the big ones. The important things. Like writing. Like reading. Like keeping myself organised. Never mind the floor, the washing, the piles of stuff to be done at that moment. Seize the time, grip it, shake the life out of it. There will be more crap, more of the stuff again later, but by then it will be too late to write if you haven’t. By then it will be too late and the day too spent to have interesting conversation, to make important decisions and all you’ll be good for is drying dishes, folding washing and sweeping floors.
Benison O'Reilly
Sep 02, 2011 @ 10:44:34
What a fabulous post. I wish I’d studied philsosphy at university now. Maybe one day.
I just finished reading the late Dr Chris O’Brien’s autobiography, Never Say Die. I was a huge fan of his from watching RPA and was devastated when he developed an ultimately fatal brain tumour. He lived the most amazing life in his 57 years but was busy, busy, busy. He actually believed that he may have contributed to his brain cancer by his lifestyle – impacting on his immune system and rendering himself vulnerable to cancer. He gave up his job as a surgeon the day he was diagnosed and didn’t regret it – the rest of his life he spent reading and writing and spending time with his family. The thinks you plan to prioritise in fact. Your hubby is a wise man BTW!
Naomi
Aug 29, 2011 @ 17:13:27
I love this. I should print it out and stick it on the fridge to remind me to do the important stuff more. x
Karen
Aug 24, 2011 @ 21:18:49
You’re awesome. I’m with you on the crap! More writing! More reading! More Monday Funday. xxx !
Stella Orbit
Aug 24, 2011 @ 21:36:11
Thank you. Long live Monday Funday xox
propinqua
Aug 24, 2011 @ 20:57:43
I like this very very much. I have also grappled with the false belief that if I could just get things organised (just once), if I could just get over this (one) hump, then everything would start moving along seamlessly and smoothly.
Now, I am not a philosopher. Well, I am maybe one of the armchair, red-wine style, but I don’t think that really counts. And halfway through two glasses of said red wine I can’t really get my head effectively around the time thing. But I have (in a rare and precious event) another thought. I have just been studying sustainability and ecosystem health, all revolving around the theory of complex adaptive systems, which was completely new to me a few months ago but is utterly fascinating. Pretty much everything is a complex adaptive system within a panarchy of such systems (which is completely beside my point, but I do like the word ‘panarchy’). Anyway, it has totally challenged everything I thought I knew about how to run stuff. My lightbulb moment has been realising that there is essentially an inverse relationship between efficiency/organisation and resilience. The more efficient and tightly organised a system is, the more prone it is to collapse. And this seems to apply just as much to individuals and families as to companies and ecosystems. There is something to be said for redundancy.
Stella Orbit
Aug 24, 2011 @ 21:36:51
Would you like to do a guest post about panarchy?
Thank you for your comment xo
Cat
Aug 24, 2011 @ 20:39:29
You’re both very wise. I’m finding this balance difficult & shall come back to this post several times over to properly absorb it. Great advice!
Stella Orbit
Aug 24, 2011 @ 21:37:18
The balance is so hard.
Still struggling. xo
Michelle Higgins
Aug 24, 2011 @ 17:23:18
I am too tired for the comment this post deserves but I loved it. Such excellent thinking from two of the best. Right now I feel well and truly overwhelmed by the crap and am sort of hiding from it. That doesn’t seem to help either as then everything comes crashing down.
Michelle xx
Stella Orbit
Aug 24, 2011 @ 17:37:08
Nothing really helps except for the prioritising part.
I’m still learning. Motherhood is teaching me.
xox