Piqued … write on Wednesday
17 Aug 2011
Piqued by the absence of wallet, the dark formal shoes, she waited impatiently for the evening.
For the actual date, the one they had arranged a week ago. Not the accidental, impulsive coffee date, which wasn’t a date, but it was.
The order of things was not quite right but the intrigue level was high. She rang one of her friends. Do I have to dress up? There was an audible intake of breath and then a shriek. YES, of course you do. Why are you on the phone? Go and get beautiful. Get dressed. Go now! Goodbye.
For weeks she had been trying not to think about the possibilities. Now, after coming back here to face the new life she had haltingly started only a few months before, romance was the furthermost thing from her mind. Now, mind racing, she had to think about it.
This week’s Write on Wednesday idea comes from this lovely place.
Thanks Felicity.
Aug 20, 2011 @ 11:28:18
You captured the anxiety of waiting for a date really well. Very enjoyable read.
Aug 19, 2011 @ 10:14:27
So exciting and suspenseful! I feel nervous for your character, I vaguely remember a similair feeling (before marriage and children and all that jazz) Wonderful writing!
Aug 18, 2011 @ 22:59:26
I agree with Felicity, using the word Piqued straight away was well done. It was a very natural way to add the prompt – I couldn’t find a way to add the word without feeling contrived. I especially like the phone call with her friend as it was realistic but also gave us insight into the situation.
And I can relate to that feeling – piqued by the absence of wallet. Clever work
Gill x
Aug 18, 2011 @ 14:56:57
I think you’ve captured the scene well. I like the part about asking if she had to get dressed up. LOL. I can so relate to that.
Aug 18, 2011 @ 10:28:45
I liked this – it reminded me of the start of dating my husband, our first date which wasn’t an actual date (but the first one I count) and then the first proper date… LOL, funny how the mind works – and now my curiosity is piqued – do the possibilities play out?
Aug 18, 2011 @ 10:14:35
Louise!
What can I say?
The use of the word straight up is inspired as it sets the tone straight away.
You’ve captured the churning uncertainty of not only waiting for the date but her new life to begin with such clarity.
I really enjoyed this piece.
xx Felicity
PS: It was a thrill to see my logo and your lovely note on your blog – thank you.
Aug 18, 2011 @ 10:05:18
I really like this, how the order of the dates echos the halting start to her new life.
Aug 17, 2011 @ 23:05:43
I reall enjoyed this Stella. I felt excited for your character. I’m sure I’ve been there myself a few times.
Anne @ Domesblissity xx