Blogvember Sunday Confessional
18 Nov 2012
Blogvember has thrown up challenges in a way that I didn’t expect.
Unexpected interchanges about blogging, with other bloggers. Rivalrous thoughts about other bloggers writing. How I wish my blog could be more voice and less blah blah blah. Challenges too about writing every day. The discipline, the highs and lows – like yesterday where I didn’t write at all. A post appeared but it had no text. The posts I wrote thinking I really thought it was good, but no one read it!
Some thought about serious posts that I have suppressed and with unnerving effectiveness declared that I am not writing about that! There is self-censoring, denial and repression.
The more I write and publish, the more the risks become apparent. Risks of exposing too much is just the start! As blog life and real life come closer together, I pass people who I had no idea were reading, who say keep writing, or I liked that post. It is unnerving to come so closely into contact with readers. This is turn has risks. I need to be aware of the circles, the wheels within wheels, that I can’t see. Most of my content is only about my own thoughts, but there are topics I won’t write about now, ever, because of these ripples.
This seems to me part of the chimera of blogging. We pretend we are not writing for anyone, we pretend that we don’t care if anyone reads.
This is a lie.
I do care.
This extended riff about blogging is to conceal the fact that should confess to not having made appointments for the dentist, my girls-bits check up, done any exercise or got my fucking haircut.
With that, I am off to paint my nails blue and drink tea. They are both cleansing and meditative experiences that will allow me to slow down a little bit and examine why I am not taking better care of myself.
Dec 02, 2012 @ 21:02:06
If I weren’t so brain-dead most of the time, I might blog more than thrice a year, so I salute your daily effort. I’m one of those who wasn’t reading these past 2 weeks – not because I was uninterested, but because I wanted to do the writing justice, as it were. Now I have various matters out of the way, and my irregular weekend has begun, you have my attention.
I must say, I hadn’t considered a negative aspect to meeting someone who had read anything I might have written … interesting. Maybe that just means I have too high an opinion of my inner thoughts. I wouldn’t presume to offer you advice unbidden, but I would offer encouragement: own your writing; be proud of it. And always try for a better piece next time :)
Nov 19, 2012 @ 10:10:20
I actually stopped blogging at ink paper pen when I realized people I knew in real life were reading it. It really freaked me out and I didn’t even write about personal or controversial stuff. Blogging does strange things to your psyche.
I’ve been enjoying your Blogvember. I read most days but don’t always comment. Many of your posts have got inside my head – the showing not telling post most of all. Look after yourself.
Nov 18, 2012 @ 22:52:28
I love reading your blog. It inspires me to
notice
Nov 18, 2012 @ 10:34:11
So, I think you are in my head. For what it’s worth, I never think your blog is blah, blah, blah. I love how you write. I hope I can write like that when I grow up. Old I may be, but up – that remains to be seen.
I have tried to write about things I know I perhaps should not, in vague and meandering ways. It never works. The truth outs. I get it. I sometimes want to write a challenge to readers, to all out themselves, so I know just who is out there each and every day. But I won’t, because that would mean I am admitting I really do care just who is (and is not) reading.
Ah blogging, Who’d do that?
As for your girl-bits – get a check up. Go with your best nails, a keep cup of coffee, and a half way to the truth number in mind. xo
Nov 18, 2012 @ 13:51:14
Thank you, it is worth a lot. This is why I keep doing it. And the support. And the odd kick in the pants xox