How to menu plan

Planning is ever so important

Planning is ever so important

Buy deliciously cute weekly dinner plan pad from fancy stationers.

Think about what you are doing in the week or two weeks ahead.

Write a sample menu for a week.

Invite people over, then make sure they change the day at least once. Then immediately forget the new arrangement and fail to write it down on your super cute new planner. Colour yourself surprised when they turn up with champagne while you are collapsed on the couch. Send man out to get pizza.Factor in teenager. Make preparations that can be easily put into action. This will ensure the teenager never shows up when you expect and then eats all the spare sausage rolls and a box of Pine Lime splice for dinner when he does appear.

Take a call to go down the pub and drink beer instead of making omelette aux fines herbes. Get home to discover much toast was consumed in your absence.

Be sure to forget to defrost the sausages.

Save time. Plan to make a variation on a pasta dish for both your young child and yourself. Forget to keep some pasta aside. Mix all the pasta thoroughly with sautéed greens including dill and then pick out enough pasta not coated in green stuff or feta for your child to have with his plain chicken.

Be sure to forget to buy ginger beer so you absolutely cannot have Moscow Mules on the hottest day of summer.

Buy lots of dill. Then buy more because you never know.

Forget that the fancy ‘Dinner Planner’ starts the week on a Monday. Enthusiastically tear off the last week’s plan with a satisfied grin. Then add a post-it to the front of the new week that says ‘Sunday – Madras curry’.

Under no circumstances conduct an inventory of the pantry or the fridge.

Make martinis at 5pm. Whatever happens after that, the torment will indeed be less.