When is a narrative, not a narrative?
10 Aug 2011
My nephew Patrick is nine. He is in year 3. He is my first nephew. Needless to say, I love him to bits. Today I heard some news about his school work that made me furious.
This lovely, conscientious boy recently wrote a story for homework. It was rejected by his teacher. Why? It was rejected because it was considered not to have met the requirement for narrative. The NSW Education K to 6 syllabus definition of narrative that is.
Here is an extract from the section on ‘text’
Texts can be classified into the broad categories of literary and factual texts.
Both categories include media texts, which can be either literary or factual in orientation.
They also include all forms of electronic text.
The categories of texts indicated above can be further subdivided into different text types.
TEXT TYPES (ORAL AND WRITTEN)
Literary texts – Narrative, Literary recount, Observation, Literary description, Personal response, Review
Factual texts – Factual description, Information report, Procedure, Procedural recount, Factual recount, Explanation, Exposition, Discussion
So it seems, according to the syllabus, narrative cannot be true. Patrick’s story is not a narrative, because it happened to him. If he had only changed the ‘I’ to ‘a boy’, the ‘we’ to ‘them’ then it would be a narrative tale.
This poor little boy, crushed by the blow to his other perfect homework record, now won’t do any homework. He is frustrated. He thought his story was good and interesting. After all, it features sharks! What my sister, my mum and everyone else I speak to, cannot understand, is why narrative is defined so narrowly, why this feedback was delivered so bluntly? Mum had to investigate the Board of Studies website, to ally my sister’s fear that she herself did not know what narrative meant! I fear for Patrick and his lovely siblings. I am worried about what this negative feedback, this red penning of his story will do to his urge to write and to read.
I need your help. Patrick needs feedback, from real readers, especially writers. If you have a moment, read his story and write a comment. Particularly, if you are a writer, leave a comment about what books you’ve written.
(Click on the image to see it full size.)
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Aug 17, 2011 @ 20:40:57
[…] He has recovered his mojo after the last battle with the definition of ‘narrative‘. […]
Aug 12, 2011 @ 12:08:11
Hi Patrick,
When I was your age writing and reading were my two favourite things to do and I really hope you keep doing those two things.
I think your story is really well written and it’s really clear you had a great time on your holiday and that you enjoyed writing your story too.
There are lots of people like your teacher in the world and you should know that they teach you lots of things about what NOT to do. You listen to all those wonderful writers who’ve given you great feedback and good advice above and your Grandma, Mum & Auntie who all think you’ve done a great job, as do I!
I look forward to your Auntie sharing more of your great stories with us in the future.
Cat
X
Aug 12, 2011 @ 11:55:06
Hi Patrick,
I love your story. Most of what I write is true, just like your story. My daughter Emma loves to write, just like you. She also writes lots about real life adventures that we have. I hope that you keep writing stories and that Aunty Louise shares them with us. We will be waiting for the next one – make it soon!
Michelle and Emma (9)
Aug 12, 2011 @ 11:47:17
Thanks for all the fantastic comments everyone. I have made a Tumblr blog for Patrick. I posted his story, and then your comments, and also a video introduction from me telling him all about it.
He was grinning from ear to ear, according to sis. He was particularly impressed that his story was on the internet! So sweet. He wanted me to say thank you to everyone.
You are all so incredibly generous and lovely, thank you :)
Aug 11, 2011 @ 22:14:53
Dear Patrick,
What a brilliant, well-written and interesting story!
My favourite part was when you made mouse traps near the forest.
I have written and edited lots of stories and yours was terrific.
Maybe, when you have more adventures, you could write about those too. I’d love to read all about them.
All the best,
Kathleen
Aug 11, 2011 @ 21:35:39
Hi Patrick
When I finished school, I went to university where I got to read heaps and heaps of stories (sometimes as many as four big chapter books in a week!). I was also very lucky to study narrative writing with one of Australia’s most successful authors – he has written HEAPS of books. And what I learned from him was that narrative can be fiction (made up) or non fiction (true). In our classes we did lots of writing inspired by things that happened in our lives.
I think your teacher was being a bit silly here. I’m pretty sure she didn’t study narrative technique at university.
But the most important thing is that YOU know you wrote a great story – a great narrative – and I think you should keep this homework sheet, and when you publish your first novel, you should dedicate it to your teacher, and add in a definition of narrative under the inscription.
I’m very glad I got to read your narrative. I’ve never seen a shark in the wild!
Keep writing!
Love
Kate
Aug 11, 2011 @ 18:23:50
Dear Patrick,
You are SO lucky to have seen a shovel nosed shark – I bet nobody else in your class had that chance during the holidays. Now I am curious about what they look like so I am going to look them up on Google with my son who is in Year 4. You wrote a lovely account of your holiday. Maybe you should keep a special diary just for all your fantastic holiday advertures.
Yvette x
Aug 11, 2011 @ 08:50:06
Dear Patrick
Your story was great. I now know what a wonderful holiday you had and all the things you did and all the things you saw, especially the shark. Did you try to get the shark into your boat?
You just keep writing good stories like that one and never mind what other people say about them.
Aug 10, 2011 @ 23:13:13
… also, I think that the teacher has misinterpreted the definition according to the syllabus anyway. Under the definition of narrative, we have ‘literary recount’ and ‘personal response’. What are these if not first person narrative?
Aug 10, 2011 @ 23:08:04
Hi Patrick,
You know, there is a very famous Australian writer called Peter Carey. Quite a few of his novels are written in what they call first-person narrative. If the story says things like: ‘I painted a great picture’, rather than ‘He painted a great picture’, then it is in first person. Just like your fantastic story.
And you know what else? If your teacher had to mark Peter Carey’s novels, she would reject them as not being narrative too.
I loved your story. Wish we had adventure holidays like that. The closest to a beach around here is a creek with folds of slime on it so thick that when our dogs go in it, they come out green and stinky.
Keep writing!
Cathy
Aug 10, 2011 @ 22:38:24
seems the teacher forgot to read her own printout: Writing for fun.
i am sure that according strictly to the curriculum, she is right. but that doesn’t stop her from being a Bad Teacher. both my kids have suffered in the hands of Bad Teachers … it has taken my son over three years (and two Great Teachers) to recover. my daughter is humming long nicely with a Great Teacher this year, after a Bad Teacher last year.
so here’s what i would say to Patrick:
1. listen carefully to what your teacher tells you to do
2. ask if you are not sure you understand, and
3. keep writing your FANTASTIC stories … your teacher next year will LOVE them.
xt
Aug 10, 2011 @ 22:32:31
Dear Patrick,
That is a GREAT story. If I was your teacher I would give it full marks, because the main thing about a narrative is not whether it is true or made up, but whether it holds the reader’s attention- and yours DEFINITELY does. I write books for a living and that is all I’m ever trying to do, just make my reader want to keep reading.
My daughter is 9, like you, and when we lived in Broome last year she almost stepped on a shovel-nosed ray one day at the beach. She got out of the water very quickly after that.
Good luck with your writing and keep it up! You’re really good.
Kylie
Aug 10, 2011 @ 22:05:04
Hi Patrick
I have read a lot of children’s stories, and I thought yours was very well written. When my own children used to write stories, I often could not understand what they were trying to say, but yours is very clear.
Please do not stop writing.
If your Mum had to look at the education website to find out what they meant by ‘narrative, then your teacher didn’t do her job properly in explaining what she wanted you to do.
Gold star *
Aug 10, 2011 @ 22:03:42
Hey Patrick,
Teachers are stupid. You are not.
Write whatever you feel like writing.
I loved your story, but then of course I would because I have a whale that lives in my backyard that eats pineapples.
;-)
Aug 10, 2011 @ 21:33:58
Oh, this breaks my heart. Please don’t let it break yours. My boss just recently gave me great advice about “knowing the narrative; sharing the narrative and shaping the narrative” as a way of showing strategic leadership. This was NOT fictional. This was about being able to communicate vital information to important clients about our work. The narrative is not just about fiction in the professional world. I work drafting legislation. I talk about the “narrative” flow of provisions. This is not about fiction. Otherwise the laws wouldn’t work!
Please Patrick. Keep writing. Your writing is fabulous!
Aug 10, 2011 @ 21:28:15
Patrick
I enjoyed your story. The holiday you describe sounds like the sort of holiday I would love to have.
Writing down stories like yours is very important because it helps other people understand what is important to you, and helps us understand things that we might not understand on our own.
I’ve never seen a shark in the wild before and would love to hear more about it.
Lincoln
Aug 10, 2011 @ 21:20:18
Dear Patrick,
What an interesting story. It sounds like a great camping trip and you obviously have a lot of friends. Were you scared when you saw the shark? I would have been. Please thank your auntie for sharing your story. I really enjoyed it.
Best wishes
Deb
PS your writing and spelling is very good too